More like Relican't

So far, these past twelve days have mostly been devoted to fighting rematches against the various gym leaders. The results have been fairly positive; my lineup has been slowly but surely increasing in power, while I've managed to evolve other weaker Pokémon, getting closer and closer to filling out my Pokédex. I realize that my Pokémon would get stronger a lot more quickly if I didn't stick an EXP share on whichever weak Pokémon I was trying to evolve at the time, but hey, this way I'm multitasking. And since last post I've managed to evolve...

-my Gulpin, Kirby, into a Swalot
-my Wurmple, M'rrgla, first into a Silcoon and then a Beautifly
-my Dratini, Toothless, into a Dragonair
-Magmus, my Slugma, into a Magcargo
-my Snubbull, Throw Mama, into a Granbull
-my Teddiursa, Bear Jew, into an Ursaring
-Rocksteady, my Rhyhorn, into a Rhydon
-and finally Kim, my Chinchou, into a Lanturn



On top of that, I've unlocked the White Lake on my Pokéwalker, and was then able to catch a Chingling and Buizel. Two fairly useless Pokémon I no longer have to worry about.

I also managed to catch a level 40 Relicanth named Muddy via Pokémon Talk on the radio. Now, when I was told that “a wild group of Relicanth were spotted on route 12”, my first thought was “what the hell's a Relicanth?” This is particularly noteworthy since I had assumed I was familiar, at least on a face-recognition basis, with all 493 Pokémon. But I had completely forgot what a Relicanth was.

When I saw the Pokémon, though, I realized why.



I kinda feel bad for the Relicanth. It's obviously a Pokémon no one cares about, especially not the concept designers. Thankfully, it doesn't evolve into anything, which means I don't have to look at its stupid face ever again.

Finally, I can check another legendary Pokémon off my list. Yesterday, I caught a Zapdos, one of the three legendary birds from the original games. What's more, I did so on my first try, using maybe 5 Pokéballs, tops. The experience was... bittersweet.



A common complaint I've seen regarding the Pokémon franchise is their oversaturation of so-called “legendary” Pokémon as new titles are added. When the original games were released, there were only four legendary Pokémon, with a mysterious fifth super-rare. These were supposed to be the ultimate Pokémon – the ones who, according to the second Pokémon Movie, held the world together (or something). They hid in the deepest recesses of caves, in mountain peaks, etc. Catching them was a Big Deal.

Generation II, Gold and Silver, introduced 6 more legendary Pokémon. These were also very important entities, protectors of the world, majestic Pokégods walking among us mere mortals.

With Ruby and Sapphire, 10 more legendary Pokémon were introduced. They were... also kind of important? Somewhere along the storyline it's implied that one of them will bring about the end of the world. Or something.

Finally, we get Pearl and Diamond, which introduce 14 more Legendary Pokémon, bringing the total up to 35. I dunno, somewhere along the line the importance of these Pokémon got kind of lost on me. Kind of like the hatches in Lost; the first time you see one is pretty crazy, but by the time they introduce, like, the 17th one, you forgot why you cared in the first place.

Nowhere was this more evident to me than when I caught Zapdos. In SoulSilver, they seem to have more legendary Pokémon than they have locations in which they reside.

When I caught Ulysses (Lugia), he was waiting deep in the bowels of an island, summoned by mystical clerics. When I caught Gwaihir (Ho-oh), he had flown to the top of a sacred tower. When I caught Dr. Mabuse (Mewtwo), he had exiled himself to the lowest depths of a mysterious cave.

Zapdos, on the other hand, was just chilling outside of the Power Plant. Kind of like Jay and Silent Bob hanging outside the Quick Stop.



Not exactly my definition of Legendary.

Whatever. I'm not about to look a gift Rapidash in the mouth. Another Legendary caught.



Only... 30 more to go?


Pokémon Count at 78:24 hours of gameplay: Seen 327, caught 181
Professor Oak says: If you break rocks, some Pokémon that were hiding there might come jumping out!

You already said that, Professor!

My Pokémonth

So, as I mentioned when last we spoke, I had traversed Mt. Silver, reaching trainer Red, the ultimate boss of Pokémon SoulSilver, only to taste the bitter Apricorns of defeat. And not by some small margin, either. Were that the case, I'd simply reset my DS until getting the victory I need. But no, no amount of resets would save me. Against Red, I got motherfucking flounced, and I knew it.



Normally, the solution to this would be to battle lesser trainers, strengthening my Pokémon to more impressive levels. Only there was a problem with that: I'd beaten all of them.

So where did that leave me? I'd pretty much caught the majority of the catchable Pokémon found within my game. I still had to level up quite a few Pokémon in order to evolve them, but had no simple way to do so. I still had quite a few Pokémon to catch on the Pokéwalker, but that's more of an outside-the-game game.

It seemed that, in the game, my progress had reached something of an Indigo Plateau. Worse, I still had miles to go. Pokémon to catch. Trainer Red to beat.

So for a little while, my playing was limited to defeating Rival Adolf every Monday and Wednesday, which improved my Pokémon all too slowly. I'd tune in to Pokémon Talk on the radio every day, just in case there was a rare Pokémon I could catch, listen to Buena's Password, partake in the Pokémon draw, play that addicting Voltorb game at the Game Corner and... that was it.

All the while, of course, I'd slowly clock in steps on the Pokéwalker, trying to reclaim my 25,000 lost watts.

Now, this wasn't a completely unproductive period of time. My Pokémon grew, slowly but surely, one level at a time. I managed to make enough coins from the Voltorb Beat game that I was able to redeem them for a Porygon (named Megabyte) and a, um, female Mr. Mime (named Marcie). I also caught quite a few Pokémon while listening to Pokémon Talk. To be precise, I caught...

-a male Gulpin (named Kirby)
-a male Qwlfish (named Penance)
-a male Buneary (O'hare)
-a female Chinchou (Kim)
-a female Luvdisc (Tonks)
-a female Clamperl (Mulva)
-a male Mawile (Barq's)
-a male Ralts (The Orphan)
-a female Swablu (Kevin)
-a female Yanma (Janet)
-a female Chansey (Joy)

So, no slim pickings is what I'm saying.



Still, in this time, there wasn't much exciting happening in my Pokéjourney. Perhaps not coincidentally, this was a slightly more eventful time for me in real life. I had finally finished a full draft of a 200+ page comic script on which I had been working for the better part of a year, I had been clocking in plenty of hours at my job, and my girlfriend moved in with me. I also beat a phenomenal DS game called Infinite Space. There was also both an earthquake and a riot in my city, but those were pretty boring.

Perhaps my biggest accomplishment, though, was not only reaching my milestone of 25,000 watts on my Pokéwalker, but surpassing the shit out of it. Basically, I've been running around like a Tasmanian devil all month, and am now holding a Pokéwalker 45,545 watts strong. Only 54,455 watts left and I've unlocked every route in my game. With my Pokéwalker, I've caught a Bidoof, Shinx, Combee, Kricketot, Budew, Mime jr, Snover, Snorunt, Tropius, and Bonsly this month.



So where does that bring me now? I'm not quite ready to move on to Pokémon Ruby... not until I manage to defeat Red at least. I've very recently discovered that I can rematch Gym leaders if I catch them at the right time of the day, and so I've been pursuing that (I even got up around 6 am so that I could rematch Pryce and Claire. How's that for dedication?). So far, it's been working well for leveling up my guys. I managed to evolve Hogarth into a Metagross, Aloysius into a Piloswine, and Capt Trips into a Weezing. Hooray!



A few more levels, and I think I'll be ready to rematch Red. I'll let you know how it goes.


Oh, and I caught a Lapras as well.

Pokémon Count at 74:24 hours of gameplay: Seen 312, caught 168
Professor Oak says: If you break rocks, some Pokémon that were hiding there might come jumping out!

No shit, Professor!

Suicune is Painless

First there was Lugia. Then there was Mewtwo.

Well now you can add both Ho-oh and Suicune to the mix. Because I caught them. With my balls.

And to be quite honest, I'm not finding them to be all that challenging, at least not compared to that Lugia. Where Ulysses was concerned, I'd be constantly resetting my game because after lobbing ball after ball at the guy, he'd eventually run out of moves, use Struggle, and knock himself out. I'd have to give up after trying for a few hours each day because I'd be sick to my stomach with frustration.

Ho-oh and Suicune? Fucking easy. I probably wasted a combined 8 Pokéballs trying to catch them, which is nothing. Just goes to show that I truly am becoming a Pokémaster.

Yes, I realize I'm bragging about being “good” at a game geared towards children. Let me have this moment.


4 Legendaries caught. Who's next?

In terms of progress, I went back to Cerulean Cave the day after catching Dr. Mabuse and found an Electrizer, which I gave to Electro. I traded both him and a Reaper Cloth'd Ryuk to my sister Rachel, which means they both evolved into badass Pokémon, and Electivire and a Dusknoir, respectively. I later found a Magmarizer on Cinnibar Island, which I used to evolve Hallyne into a Magmortar.

I also caught a sweet Beldum on my Pokéwalker. I named him Hogarth. He'll unfortunately be the last Pokémon I catch on the 'Walker for a while, at least until I cover those half a million steps and start unlocking new routes again. So far I'm at 140,000.

While in Mt. Silver I caught a male Teddiursa and named him Bear Jew, and a male Sneasel named Scrat. I then got my ass handed to me by Trainer Red and decided to return to the Safari Zone, where I caught a female Misdreavus named Morticia. I also later caught a male Snubbull, whom I named Throw Mama.

Finally, I caught a level 70 Ho-oh and named it Gwaihir, and just a few hours ago caught a Suicune named Grey Wind.

Oh, and somewhere in the process, Hybird the Doduo evolved into a Dodrio, and I evolved Hogarth into a Metang.

We All Have to Start Somewhere

So, a few days ago the world got its first glimpse at the new starting Pokémon in the upcoming 6th Generation titles, Pokémon Black and White.

Now, starting Pokémon are not something I take lightly. In any game, your starting Pokémon is your first friend – your guide into the strange journey on which you are about to embark. Removing your starter from your permanent lineup is always a rite of passage (something I haven't been able to do yet, by the way). Since starters are so important, it's equally important that you have a well of interesting options to choose from.

Which is a shame, because as more games have come out, the quality of the starters has been, well...

I'll let this comic I found sum it up (click to enlarge):



With Generation 1, we had three pretty rad Pokémon to choose from. Choosing your starting Pokémon wasn't easy, because no matter which one you chose, there would be two other awesome Pokémon you'd never be able to own. While I think I've come to the conclusion that Charmander is my personal favourite, even that's by a small margin (again, going for Charmander meant missing out on a turtle with cannons strapped to his shell, and a dinosaur with a tree growing out of its back). Of the few times I've played Generation 1, my starter choice breakdown probably goes something like 50% Charmander, 35% Squirtle, and 15% Bulbasaur.



With Generation 2, the second starter lineup offered an equally impressive lineup.



For this one my breakdown might be something like 60% Cyndaquil and 40% Totodile. While I personally would never go for a Chikorita, I don't begrudge its existence. It's a little girly, sure, but I can at least appreciate that there are people who like it.

Now, with Generation 3, we start to see a bit of a decline. Suddenly, my choice of starting Pokémon is much easier: Mudkip. Even though he gets kind of stupid when he becomes a Swampert (or as my sister Rachel says, a dirty Hobo Pokémon), he's still by far the best option available. I mean, what's with that look on Sceptile's face?



And ugh, don't even get me started on Blaziken.



He doesn't even look like he's in the right game. Seriously, I'm not too sure what the designers were thinking when they came up with the look for this guy. I mean, what would have possibly inspired them to... to...

Wait...



Oh, I get it. Digimon strikes again.

Generation 4 starters are something of a Morton's Fork, in which no matter which you pick, you're kinda in the same crappy situation. Do you choose the goofy Chimchar, resulting in a pretty goofy Infernape? A slightly cooler Piplup, resulting in a crappy Empoleon? Or the bland Turtwig, resulting in the equally bland Torterra?



Whoever wins, you lose.

But let's look at Generation 5. At least, the basic evolutions.

First up, in the Grass-Type corner, we have Tsutaja.



Now, I don't hate his design, but I do have two problems, the first being that he kinda looks exactly like a green Cyndaquil. The second problem is that he has Sceptile's creepy Come Hither eyes.

Um, PASS.

Second, we have Pokablu, a Fire-Type pig.



This is a bit more like it. A simple, archetypal design with a bit of uniqueness thrown in. I'm definitely a fan.

Finally, we have the Water-Type Mijumaru.



Now this guy is a bit problematic. He seems to hover between adorable and grotesque. I really don't know what to make of him, but I have a feeling he'll either have the coolest evolution, or the lamest. I mean, look at him. It's quite possible that, even though he's apparently a Sea Otter Pokémon, he could become quite bad-ass, something akin to Iorek Byrnison. On the other hand, he could end up being a Care Bear in Whiteface.

So, at this stage I think the starters aren't bad, certainly not as bad as others seem to be saying on the internet (I've seen them referred to as “Retardachu, Queermander, & Shittle”). As for which I'll choose when I get Black or White (though probably Black, cause that's how I roll), I'm undecided. I'm going to try to avoid having the final evolutions ruined for me before playing the game, even though I know that's probably impossible. Assuming I don't know more then than I do now, I'm probably going to go Fire, although I have a feeling I might throw caution to the wind and pick Water, even if that does mean I wind up with a Retardachu.

I think I've rambled on long enough, so I'll update on my progress later. In the meantime, what do you guys think of the new starters?

Mewtwo

Another quick quick update to let you know that, whereas before I had but one legendary Pokémon, now I own Two.

Mewtwo, to be precise.

To be honest, I wasn't expecting to come across him for a while. I only headed into Cerulean Cave because I heard that you could find an Electrizer there and I need one to evolve Electro, allowing him to reach his full potential for badassery. So I headed into the cave and promptly got lost. I wandered around for a while and holy shit there's a Mewtwo right there.



Now, even when I found him, I wasn't expecting to be able to actually catch him. After all, he's at level 70 and my highest Pokémon is only 57. Still, it turned out to be pretty simple, since he only had one offensive move, which hardly did any damage to my guys. I pelted him with Dusk Balls, and when that failed, pelted him with Ultra Balls until the tenth or so stuck.

Tricky? I suppose. But compared to catching Ulysses, this was a fucking cakewalk.

I named him Dr. Mabuse, and I think it's interesting to know that I caught him pretty much at the exact same moment I hit the 50-hour mark for total elapsed play time.

Unfortunately, though, I couldn't find the Electrizer. I'll have to return to the cave tomorrow.

I Got a Lot of Long PokéWalking to Do

Okay, let's start with some good news: I am now up to 126 Pokémon, which means I've now completed just over 25% of my Pokédex. I've also made mincemeat of all 16 gym trainers, of both the Johto and the Kanto varieties. I think it's fair at this point to infer that I'm a whirling dervish of Pokéjustice, sweeping up any trainer who dares come between me and my path of destruction.

Now let's move on to the bad news: due to some glitch somewhere, I had to reset my Pokéwalker. Now, I didn't lose any Pokémon in the process, but what it means is that all my progress towards unlocking all the possible routes in the device has been erased. Basically, I lost 25,000 “Watts” on the fucking thing. Considering that you unlock one Watt for every 20 steps you take, I need to walk half a million goddamn bastard steps just to cover the progress I lost. I'm really tempted to just tape the Pokéwalker to the blade of a fan and let spin for a few days, but I'm not going to go that route. I'm going to unlock those routes the honest way, step by motherfucking step.



Back to good news: I've managed to outsource some of my Pokécatching. This weekend, I made a deal with my girlfriend: she'd learn how to play Pokémon and help me catch 'em all, and in return I'd behave myself at her uncle's funeral.

One funeral – and exactly 0 sacred urns toppled – later, I slid her my copy of Pokémon Pearl, which I was going to reset anyways, and told her she could start a new game. And start a new game she did. Considering she's never played one of these games in her life, I think she's doing a good job so far (although Chimchar? Really?)

So now, while I'll be catching the Pokémon of the Johto and Kanto regions (and when I start playing Ruby again, the Hoenn region), Rebecca will be a force to be reckoned with in the Sinnoh region. Hell, she's only played for about an hour and she's already caught a Bidoof, Starly, and Shinx. Soon, they will be mine.

In terms of my game, the progress has been equally palpable. My Magby, whom I named Hallyne, evolved into a Magmar. I also evolved Nero the Spearow, Muad'Dib the Sandshrew, Resetti the Diglett, and Norm Bates the Cubone into a Fearow, Sandslash, Dugtrio, and Marowak, respectively. I also caught myself a Snorlax on my first ball (a Heavy Ball, if you must know), and named him Chien-Po. I also caught a level 2 Poochyena (Nymeria).

Finally, Ryuk the Duskull evolved into the much-less-adorable Dusclops. He kinda looks retarded now but whatever I have a Reaper Cloth so I'm going to evolve him again ASAP.



But first, I'm going to go run a few goddamn laps around the house with my Pokéwalker

I love my Duskull

A few more entries to the 'Dex. Caught a male Slugma (Magmus) and a Ditto (Mystique). I evolved my Smoochum (whom I named Blondie) into a Jynx, and my Sentret (whom I named Crockett) evolved into a Furret. I also caught a Volbeat, Natu, Carvanha, Wailmer, and Kecleon on Pokéwalker. This means I've only added about 9 Pokémon to my Pokédex in the past 4 days.

That's because I've been training the newest addition to my lineup, my Duskull.

Like Electro when he was just an Elekid, my Duskull is simply a joy to behold. He looks adorable following me around like some evil spectre of death. Of course, raising him has been something of a chore. Since he's still in his basic evolutionary stage, he's pretty weak and susceptible to KO's quite often. Still, I know that all the bumps and scratches will be worth it, and he'll realize his true potential, just like Electro and Moloch have before him.

Anyways, here's a picture I drew of my Duskull, Ryuk, devouring the souls of his enemies.



Welcome to the lineup, little man! Hope you survive the experience!

Bel Kanto

So, last week saw a few milestones on my SoulSilver cartridge. Not only did I catch my first legendary Pokémon, I also opened up a can of “it's super effective” on the Elite Four. Well just when you thought it was over, Aaron hits you up with another milestone.

I just hit the 100 Pokémon mark.

Now, this isn't a particularly hard thing to do when there are 493 of the little fuckers around, but I think it's still a reassuring marker to hit. The fact is, I've now caught over 20% of 'em all, and I don't feel like slowing down in the least.

Progress-wise, I've found that the adventure sort of loses its thrust after beating the Elite Four. I always thought it was a cool idea to have it revealed that after you think the game's over, a whole new continent is added. That being said, there's not much to do now that I'm here. I now have two more badges under my belt (Lt. Surge's and Sabrina's), but it's not quite the same. Whereas in the Johto region, I'd have to right wrongs, help the helpless, and defeat marginally evil villains, in Kanto (the second continent) it feels like I'm just here to sightsee. I've really just been going from one town to the next, getting gym badges just cause I can.



But goddamnit, I didn't come here to sightsee. I came here to catch some Pokémon.

Interestingly, even though I've added about 23 entries to my Pokédex since I last blogged, only 1 of them was from a Pokémon caught through traditional means. That Pokémon is Cubone. I named him Norm Bates, because his Pokédex entry reads like this:

It always wears the skull of its dead mother, so no one has any idea what its hidden face looks like.

I think that that entry makes Cubone officially the most fucked-up Pokémon I own thus far.



All the other Pokémon I've added have been either evolutions or caught via the Pokéwalker. As I mentioned before, beating the Elite Four unlocked new routes on the 'walker, which means I'm now the proud owner of a Wurmple, Illumise, Skitty, Horsea, Azurill, Houndour, Meditite, Castform, and Zigzagoon (phew!).

Oh, also, Nintendo has unleashed a new route for trainers to download: the Winner's Path (in lieu of the Pikachu-laden Yellow Forest). If you have Wi-Fi, download it now! If not, walk up and down your street like a creepy stalker until you find a signal! I did the latter, and have so far found a Bronzor, Duskull (which is probably my favourite Pokémon to come out of Ruby/Sapphire), and Munchlax.



And on top of those Pokémon, I've had a few others evolve: Terra evolved into Graveler, Poppet into a Skiploom and then a Jumpluff, Gobias into a Flaafy and then an Ampharos, and finally ChickenBoo evolved into a Pidgeot. I proceeded to trade Terra, Maraxus, Psycho Fox, and Swayze to my sister Rachel, where they evolved into a Golem, Machamp, Alakazam, and Gengar, respectively.

So yeah, another productive few days. Well, I mean, if you don't count Pokémon, they were horribly unproductive days. But I mean, in the world of Pokémon? Productive!

Day 27 Pokédex count: Seen 211, caught 109
Professor Oak says: Don't forget, some Pokémon only appear at certain times of the day!

I won't, Professor!

Elite Beat Agent

One reason why I started this project was to see whether my Pokémastery has improved any since I started playing this franchise over a decade ago. So far, I'm doing alright, but haven't been noticing any visible improvements in my game now that I'm an adult. In fact, in many cases, I'm having a harder time of it. It was pretty disheartening, when I thought about it.

But never mind that. I just got my vindication at about 2 a.m. this morning, when I beat the Elite Four. On my first try.



I know, I know. So what? Well, I'll tell you what.

So for every game since the original Pokémons Blue and Red, the adventure would culminate with your character challenging the Elite Four, a collection of the toughest Pokétrainers in the region. If you manage to do that, you become the new Champion, and essentially beat the game. Sounds easy, sure, except:

1. You have to beat each one consecutively, Gauntlet-style.
2. They all use pretty high-level Pokémon, usually higher than most of yours when you first arrive to challenge them.
3. For some reason, there are five members of the Elite Four.

What this basically means, or at least meant for me as a child, is that you generally have to fight them and fail a few times, levelling up your Pokémon in the meantime, before you're able to successfully defeat them. But not this time.

This time, even though I went in with generally shitty Pokémon (no offence guys, but only two of you were above level 40, the rest levelled 25-33), I managed to knock the boots with Will, Koga, Bruno, Karen, and Lance, and emerge victorious. On my first try.

(Okay I just looked up the term “Knock the Boots” to make sure I was using it correctly, and apparently it means “have sexual intercourse [with]”. So for the record, I did not use that term correctly. Or did I?)



So thank you to Morpheus, Moloch, Electro, Ulysses, Tokek, and ChickenBoo. You guys did great. Welcome to the Hall of Fame.

So now that I've beaten the Elite Four, does that mean I'm done the game? Well no, not even close. HeartGold and SoulSilver, like its predecessors, are unique in that after you beat the Elite Four Plus One, a path opens to a whole new region, Kanto (which is actually the setting of the original games). This means I'm practically halfway through the storyline. It's also good, though, since a whole slew of Pokémon become available to me. On my Pokéwalker alone, new paths are being opened up once I get my National Pokédex.

Speaking of Pokédex, let's talk about my progress.

Since my last Pokédex report, I've mentioned catching my Lugia, Ulysses, but there have been quite a few other additions as well. I'm also the owner of a level 23 male Tangela (Mr. Tickle), and level 22 male Delibird (Dedede), and a level 21 female Swinub (Alice).

I also returned to the Safari zone, where I caught a level 15 male Sandshrew named Muad'Dib (I am currently reading Dune for the first time ever). On my Pokéwalker, I've caught a Krabby, Psyduck, and a Spearow. The Spearow was the last Pokémon I could catch on my Pokéwalker with the amount of routes available to me, but now that I'm about to get a National Pokédex, more routes (and more Pokémon!) should be forthcoming.

In terms of evolution, Maraxus evolved into a Machoke while traveling through victory road, and Morpheus evolved into a Hypno while fighting the Elite Four. Electro, bless that little tyke, evolved into an Electabuzz. I would love to evolve him further into an Electivire, but need and Electirizer to do so, which from what I understand will take a while to find. Oh well.



Right now I've added Terra to my lineup. When she evolves into a Graveler I'll have the four original Trade Evolutions, and will evolve them all accordingly.

Day 23 Pokédex count: Seen 184, caught 86
Professor Oak says: Do you have a Fishing Rod? There are some Pokémon that can only be found by fishing!

Yes I have a fucking Fishing Rod, Professor!

Lugia

Just a brief update to let you know that I am now one Legendary Pokémon closer to catching 'em all.

As of about ten minutes ago, I am the proud owner of a level 45 Lugia.



Motherfucker took me about three and a half hours total, over a span of two days. I don't even want to think about how many Poké/Great/Ultra/Net/Dusk balls I've lobbed at this guy. All I can tell you is that I am physically out of breath.

To say that shit got real would be an understatement. Shit gained a sort of hyperrealism wherein we are all just shadows reflected on a wall in a cave in Shit's subconscious.



Whenever I wonder if I've outgrown Pokémon, if maybe my loyalty to the game is more out of nostalgia than anything else, if I even get anything out of the game anymore, I need only think back to the muted klik! of my Ultraball as it locked itself around the target, cementing my victory. That's what being a Pokémaster is all about.

And for the record? My Lugia (Ulysses) looks simply majestic following me around. I have a feeling that this might be the start of a beautiful friendship.



A more in-depth post later on. I need to go recover.

Day 17 - Prepare for Trouble

Okay, I've been playing for about 22 hours now and I gotta say: Team Rocket is probably the lamest video game villain I've ever encountered.



I mean, villains are necessary in a game in order to keep the stakes high. The more villainous the character, the higher the stakes, right? That's probably why so many villains in video games want to either enslave the world or unleash some demon who's going to devour the world (think any Final Fantasy or Zelda game, for example).

So basically Team Rocket is this group of reprobates bent on taking over the world. Okay, you have me so far.

Now how does Team Rocket go about this goal? Well, so far, their plans have involved...

1) Selling Slowpoke Tails for really expensive on the black market (no, they don't kill the Slowpokes, and to be honest, the Slowpokes don't seem to mind).

2) Turn a Gyrados red by evolving it too soon, or something.

3) Take over a radio station so that you can broadcast “Team Rocket Rules!” over the airwaves.

Annnnd that's it. As you can imagine, the stakes are never really all that high, and I never really care. Now, that being said, I'm only partway through the game, and may have yet to come to the part where they drive a bus full of explosives into the United Nations or unleash a thread of anthrax into the drinking water, but at the moment you can colour me unimpressed.



Now, I know what you're thinking: “But Aaron, who cares if Team Rocket is a lame villain? That's not the point of this game! This is Pokémon, in which the story is really just a means to an end, and that's the exciting gameplay!”

To that I say.... well, yeah. I guess you're right about that. But still, there are plenty of games out there with great gameplay and a great story. For once I'd like to see a Pokémon game with both.

At the very least, though, Team Rocket has provided me with plenty of battles, given me lots of opportunities to level up my Pokémon. As such, I've had quite a few of my guys evolve in the past few days. ChickenBoo grew into a Pidgeotto, and Amy into a Raticate. I promptly ditched Amy and started training Buggin Out in her place. He quickly grew to a Kakuna, and then a Beedrill, at which point I swapped him out for Psycho Fox. Psycho Fox grew into a Kadabra. The slot is now being occupied by my Machop, whom I've named Maraxus.

Oh, and Swayze evolved into a sweet Haunter. Here's a pic (courtesy of my brother David):



On top of those I've also caught a metric shitload of wild Pokémon in the last few days. They consist of:

-A level 22 male Vulpix named Ash
-A level 20 female Diglett named Resetti
-A level 24 male Farfetch'd named Ferdinand
-A level 15 female Jigglypuff named Duffy
-A level 17 Magnemite named IG-88
-A level 17 male Rhyhorn named Rocksteady
-A level 17 female Sunkern named Flora
-A level 5 male Eevee named Lockjaw

Not to mention a Venonat, Oddish, Wobuffet, Bellsprout, and Dratini on my Pokéwalker. On top of that, Oberyn evolved into an Arbok, courtesy of the hard work he's been doing on my Pokéwalker. He now looks appropriately awesome.

That brings me to 75 Pokémon, which means I've added 20 Pokémon to the 'Dex in the past three days. I think it's clear at this point that I'm not in the prisoner-taking business, I'm in the Pokémon-taking business.

And brother, business is booming.

Day 17 Pokédex count: Seen 145, caught 75
Professor Oak says: You're training them well. You know that some Pokémon don't evolve just by battling with others, right?

Say wha, Professor?

Day 14 - Over 10% Done

Okay, so feeling pretty good. As of about 3 o'clock this morning, I've caught 10% of 'em all.

And I'm just getting warmed up.

So far I've been pretty happy with my progress, but even I can admit that this is just the beginning. I'm still finding new wild Pokémon just traveling from city to city. We'll see what happens after I beat the Elite Four, when I have to start cracking down and really struggle to fill the gaps left in my Pokédex.

To begin with, I don't even have the faintest idea how I'm going to track down those Pokémon that can only be given away at certain events. I suppose I'll need to, you know, actually attend these events, despite the fact that most of them are limited to the U.S. It's not impossible. I may have to learn how to drive, however – something I've dreaded doing my entire life. Either that or find another few Pokémasters in training who are old enough to drive and organize the gayest (sorry, “lamest”) road trip since, I dunno, Thelma and Louise.

Another problem I may need to address is the fact that I don't really have a working Wi-Fi connection at my disposal. Now, that's no problem at the moment, but when I start needing to look for Pokémon beyond the three games I own (SoulSilver, Ruby, Pearl), I will in all likelihood need to trade via the Wi-Fi system. As it stands, I can't really do that.

My solution at the moment is the same thing I did to download the Yellow Forest Pokéroute for my Pokéwalker: walk up and down my street trying to look for an open connection every five feet or so. It ultimately works okay, but unfortunately I look really creepy standing on people's lawns like some local pervert. So yeah, will probably need to find a better Wi-Fi alternative.

In terms of progress, there were a few shakeups in my lineup these past few days. Egg Shen and Hedwig both evolved, turning into a Togechik and Noctowl, respectively. Great job, guys! Unfortunately, this means I have no more use for you, so back in the PC Box you go, probably forever.

Moloch also evolved into a Nidoking (as I said before, perhaps my favourite Pokémon). Unlike Egg Shen and Hedwig, I plan to keep him in my lineup permanently, so I'm obviously not getting rid of him any time soon.


In place of Hedwig I've brought in ChickenBoo the Pidgey. Egg Shen's place has been filled out by the Elekid I caught with my Pokéwalker, whom I've christened Electro, named after my all-time favourite comic book villain.

And can I just say that I love this little guy? I mean, besides the fact that the Elekid is pretty adorable to begin with, he's just got such a good nature and can-do attitude. And unlike pretty much all my other lineup Pokémon (I'm looking at you, Moloch), Elekid is really pulling his weight, despite being several levels lower than the others.

Here's a drawing I made of the two of us being friends:


On top of those, I've caught a level 17 male Goldeen (Jabu Jabu), level 15 male Girafarig (Elton), level 28 female Magikarp (Diem), level 15 female Stantler (Lily), level 16 Staryu (Starfy), and a level 16 male Seel (McLovin). I also caught that cool Red Gyrados in Rage Lake (Atrocitus).

On my Pokéwalker I've now caught a Sentret, a Doduo, and a Pikachu. The Pikachu I caught was from the Yellow Park, which was downloaded via Wi-Fi, and allegedly contains rare Surfing and Flying Pikachus. I'd say I devoted a good 45 minutes to trying to catch one of the little fuckers, wading knee-deep in yellow ratshit, to no avail. I'll try again later.

Right now I'm off to check out the Safari Zone before heading to work.

Day 14 Pokédex count: Seen 120, caught 55
Professor Oak says: You're trying -- I can see that. Your Pokédex is coming together.

It sure is, Professor!

I can talk the Pokétalk, but can I walk the Pokéwalk?

This past Saturday night, my girlfriend and I were supposed to meet up after I had finished work (around midnight). Unfortunately, there were a few mixups, near-misses, and crossed wires, all of which were exacerbated by the fact that her cell phone had died, leaving me unable to get into contact with her. Long story short, I spent a good few hours going all over the city trying to find her, firmly believing that she may have been abducted and quite possibly killed.

As night wore on and I ran from location to location, hoping to find some clue as to her whereabouts, a creeping image began to pervade my thoughts: that of my girlfriend scared and helpless, at the mercy of some street gang or psychotic killer, praying for help that would come too late. The thought sickened me, made me feel weak and nauseous, frustrated to the brink of tears.

As it turned out, she wasn't dead, had simply thought I finished work at a different time, and waited for like an hour longer than anyone would have reasonably been expected to before heading to my house. When she found out I had gone all over the city looking for her, fearing the worst, she was touched. Then I told her that the one thing that had kept me going through the ordeal, kept me strong – that one thought that kept playing itself in my head, urging me on despite wanting to break down in despair – was knowing that I was racking up some sweet mileage with my Pokémon Pedometer, or Pokéwalker.

Not so much with the touched.

So what is the Pokéwalker? It's a portable pedometer peripheral that comes packaged with your purchase of the new Pokémon, of course.

Basically, you're allowed to transfer any one of your Pokémon to the small device. Like a pedometer, it keeps track of the steps you've taken. For every 20 steps you take, you earn 1 Watt. The more Watts you earn, the more items you unlock, and the stronger your Pokémon grows. What's more, you can even catch Pokémon on the device that you couldn't catch otherwise!



For me, this is perfect. I'm about average at playing Pokémon, which is a bit depressing considering the median age among people playing this game is like negative three. However, I can safely say that I'm above average at walking around in circles like a moron. The Pokéwalker has now given me, for once in my life, an edge at something.

Consider my job: I'm a Customer Experience Representative of a major book chain. This basically means I have to walk up and down the rows of the bookstore for 8 hours a day, seeing if anyone needs help finding what they're looking for. In your average day of work, I'm walking a little bit more than 20,000 steps (that's 1 thousand Watts). Yes, I've heard that there are ways to cheat the device (thanks for the link, Eric), but I don't plan on doing that, as it goes against my Pokémorals. Hell, I don't need to do that. I even hear that walking is healthy for you. After all, I'd hate to end up like these kids.

In other Pokémon news, didn't play much this weekend, spent most of it with Rebecca to celebrate her not being dead. Two of my Pokémon evolved, though – Tokek into a Feraligatr and Moloch into a Nidorino.

Other than that, I caught a level 14 male Koffing (Cap'nTrips), a level 13 female Miltank (Cudley), and a level 16 female Meowth (Macavity). On my Pokéwalker, however, I caught an Elekid, Murkrow, Smoochum, Onix, Machop, Tentacool, Shellder, Grimer, and Voltorb.

As you can see, the Pokéwalker has been quite instrumental in my quest of catching 'em all. Of the 40 or so Pokémon I've now accrued, 14 of them have been from the pedometer. Many of them are fairly commonplace, but some I'm pretty excited about, such as Elekid. I have a feeling he's going to be in my lineup for the longterm.



This post is dedicated to my Ekans, Oberyn, who's been tirelessly racking up all these Watts on my Pokéwalker.

It's a Pokéman's World

In the past few days I've devoted to SoulSilver, I've become increasingly aware of a slightly unsettling trend to how I approach catching 'em all. It's fairly inhibiting to my progress as a Pokémaster, sure, but it's also got me wondering more about myself as a human being. Basically it boils down to this:

I don't like catching female Pokémon.

There have been a bunch of times where I've been walking through the tall grass and given the warning signs of a wild Pokémon. As the battle starts up, I'd be excited to see the silhouette of, say, a wild Slowpoke, or some other animal I had yet to add to the 'dex. The excitement would be short-lived, however, when I find out that the Slowpoke is a girl. Even though a part of me would be wanting to fail, I'd go ahead trying to catch it.

If I succeeded, I'd wonder what the heck to name a female Pokémon that's not just some dumb name like “Tiffany” or “Sharon”. And if I failed at catching the Pokémon, I'd actually be kind of relieved.



So. I don't like owning female Pokémon. What does this say of me?

My first epiphany may have been a bit of an overreaction, but it's the same reaction I have to like 75% of the bad habits I catch myself doing: “Does this mean I'm subconsciously gay?”

The answer, after thinking about it for a bit, was a fairly adamant “Probably not.”

My follow-up question, then, is the slightly modified “Does this mean I'm subconsciously sexist?”

The answer for that: “Probably. But you're also subconsciously racist, classist, and ageist, so you've got bigger problems to worry about.”

The more I think about it, though, the more my Pokébias (Pokésogyny?) seems commonplace. After all, I don't think it's uncommon that young kids generally like to own toys of the same “gender” as themselves. I mean, you give a boy two identical Stormtrooper action figures, tell him he can own either of the two, and that one of the Stormtroopers is a boy and the other is a girl, I'm almost positive he'd go for the male Stormtrooper.



And I don't think this is limited just to children. Think pets, for example. I think it makes perfect sense that in One Hundred and One Dalmatians, Roger owns Pongo, while Anita owns Perdita. And I dunno, but when I hear about males who live alone and own a female dog, I think it's kind of weird. I'm not saying there's anything weird about it, it just feels odd. Like if some dude in an action movie gave his gun a male name, like “Roger”, as opposed to “Vira”.

Okay, so I just read what I typed, and apparently I'm okay with having male pets and female guns, but not vice versa. In short, I have to sort through a few issues.

But I guess, even if I am a bit sexist when playing SoulSilver, it's not like I'm a full-fledged Psychopath. I mean, I don't go around catching Jinxes, naming them things like “Whore” and “Slut” while I force them to breed with Tentacruels at the Daycare centre. I just don't like catching females. Is that so bad?

Okay, so I just read what I typed again, and I think “I just don't like catching females. Is that so bad?” is a really weird sentence to be taken out of context.

Moving on.

Pokédexwise, it's been slow and not so steady. I kind of wasted like three hours or something crazy like that playing that Voltorb card game in Goldenrod, and the new Pokéathelon, which is pretty crazy fun. In the last two days, though, I've caught a level 14 male Pidgey (ChickenBoo), a level 20 female Sudowoodo (Willow), a level 17 female Exeggcute (Crazy Jane), a level 12 Nidoran ♀ (Hecate), and I exchanged some coins I won from the Voltorb game for a level 15 male Abra (Psycho Fox).

On top of those, I caught a Wooper, a Slowpoke, and a Magby on my Pokéwalker. I'm pretty stoked about the Magby.

But I'm not quite as stoked about the Magby as I am about catching my favourite Pokémon (or rather, the first stage of my favourite Pokémon), the Nidoran ♂. I caught him at level 12, lovingly named him Moloch, and plan to have him in my party right up to the end.



Day 6 Pokédex count: Seen 73, caught 27
Professor Oak says: You're getting good at this, but you have a long way to go.

Wait, my favourite Pokémon has a "♂" in its name?

Argh!

Day 4 - Rethinking my Training Strategy

So seeing as today is the fourth day in both my Pokéodyssey as well as my unanticipated long weekend, I spent another two hours in the Pokéworld. Not much to it. I foiled an attempt by Team Rocket to steal Slowpoke tails and sell them on the black market, got my second badge from Bugsy (bug-type Pokémon, naturally), and fought my rival Adolph once more.

Oh, and that mysterious egg I was given yesterday? Well, it hatched, and unless you've ever played Pokémon before you'll be surprised to hear that it contained a Togepi. I seem to recall always naming my Togepis (Togepies?) of the past Eggbert, but this time I went with Egg Shen, after my favourite character from the classic Big Trouble in Little China (everyone always rooted for Lo Pan, but maybe because of 3 Ninjas, I had a soft spot for Victor Wong).



Now, already I'm noticing that I'm playing SoulSilver a little differently now that I'm older. EVERY time I've played Pokémon in the past, my strategy was basically making one Pokémon (usually whichever Pokémon I started with) really strong and just kicking ass as I went, while the other five Pokémon were just there “for the HMs”.

This time, however, I've been kind of spreading the wealth (or experience points, as it were). Trying to level up lower Pokémon as we travel, so that instead of having one super-powerful Pokémon in my lineup who does all the work, I have six fairly strong Pokémon, all of whom function together as a cohesive team.

And you know what? It's a shit hell of a lot more frustrating.

Pretty much halfway between any two cities, I'll have lost half my party trying to level up inferior goddamn Pokémon, while the other half are all paralyzed or some shit. It's goddamn annoying, and all I have to show for it are a bunch of mediocre Pokémon with crappy moves. The upside, though, is that I can try to catch wild Pokémon without having to worry about accidentally killing them in one hit, as none of my Pokémon are strong enough. I don't want to abandon this training method and return to the "one Pokémon to rule 'em all" strategy, because even though it may work better, it feels cheaper.

In any event, I've also added a level 5 female Zubat (named Morrigan) a level 10 female Poliwag (Ursula), a level 6 female Paras (The Flood), and a level 12 male Drowzee (Morpheus) to my Pokédex. There's not really much strategy to the catching yet, as any time I encounter a wild Pokémon there's a good chance I don't have it yet. It'll be when I've covered most of the wild ones that I'll really start caring about the hunt.

On top of that, I caught a Ponyta on my Pokéwalker. While I was pretty pleased with myself about this, it was slightly dampened by the fact that I was out at a nice restaurant with Rebecca and my sister Laura at the time. Laura actually had to hiss at me to turn the sound off, since the beeping coming from the Pokéwalker was apparently obnoxious and rude in public.

So, exactly 6 hours into the game, and I've caught 18 Pokémon. That's not bad, averaging about one every twenty minutes. At this rate, I should have them all in 164.333 hours.

Where doing it man. Where MAKING THIS HAPPEN.

Day 3 - Someone's got a case of the Pokémondays

Yesterday was a good day to be a Pokétrainer.

Partly this was because I earned my first badge in the game by beating Falkner, the leader of the Violet City Gym. Partly this was because I added nine more entries to my Pokédex.

And partly this was because I missed work.

Now I know what you're thinking, and you're not wrong for doing so, but let me explain.

To begin with, I actually showed up at work, but there was some mixup somewhere, and I ended up not being on the schedule, and there was nothing that anyone could do except send me home. So, not my fault.

Now, that being said, I was almost late for work yesterday because I was trying to figure out how to get the Pokéwalker peripheral to work (more on that at a later date), and had to get my mom to drive me to the subway station. For that, mea culpa.

Also, when I saw I wasn't on the day's schedule at work, part of me was rejoicing, thinking of all the extra Pokétime I got to commit to the game. So I really didn't make a fuss or anything when I was told I wouldn't be making any money that day. Something to be ashamed of? Maybe. But the fact remains that I'm not at fault here for not working.

In any event, it worked out for the best. Lots of Pokéactivity to report. Earlier in the day (the wee hours of the a.m.) I had acquired three additions to my collection. First was an Unown, level 5. I had rushed ahead a bit before fighting the Violet city gym and found myself in the Unown ruins. I tried to make my way back, but not before encountering one of the Unowns, form A. I caught it pretty easily, and named it Alpha. I figure I'll name each one after the NATO alphabet equivalent (ie Yankee, Hotel, Foxtrot, etc.)

Second Pokémon I caught was a male Ekans, level 4. Fairly easy, but I'm pretty happy with this one. I've always had a soft spot for Ekans and its evolution, Arbok. I'll try to give this guy some TLC before he starts gathering dust in a Pokébox. In any event, I named him Oberyn (again, bonus points if you know the reference).



Finally, in Sprout tower I caught myself a Gastly, level 3. This one was kind of tricky, since most of my pokémon only knew regular type attacks, which don't affect ghost-types like Gastly. I had to very slowly chip away at his health with Oberyn's poison sting, but it took quite a few tries, about 20 minutes of my time total. That slightly put me off. Gastly was the sixth pokémon I caught, and that was an ordeal? How the frig am I going to catch the other 487? Anyways, since Gastly is a ghost pokémon, I named him Swayze (BECAUSE OF THE MOVIE, GUYS. CHILL).

Anyways, I was pretty sure that was going to be it from me for the day, but like I mentioned I was given the day off, so I played for another hour and a half or so. In that time, I beat the living crap out of Falkner (seriously, between him and his trainers, I maybe lost... 14 hit points). I also caught...

-a female Geodude (Level 11) named Terra
-a male Weedle (Level 4) named Buggin Out
-a male Mareep (Level 6) named Gobias
-a female Hoppip (Level 6) named Poppet
-and finally, a Kangaskhan, which I caught on the aforementioned Pokéwalker, and haven't yet named.

I also caught Unowns in forms E, I, F, and G (named Echo, India, Foxtrot, and Golf, respectively), and received a “mysterious egg” from Professor Elm. Wonder what's inside!

On top of that, and this really was the highlight of my day, Tokek evolved from a Totodile into a Croconaw. It was beautiful. As I've yet to become a parent, I can only imagine that this is what it feels like to watch your son... uh... morph into a slightly bigger and more jurassic version of your son.




Day 3 Pokédex count: Seen 32, caught 12
Professor Oak says: Good. I see you understand how to use Poké Balls.

Thanks, Professor!

Days One and Two + Some Ground Rules

So two days ago I made a vow to myself to catch all 493 Pokémon. I felt that this could be done, but I wanted to set up some rules for myself before I proceeded:

1. The Pokémon I obtain must be obtained without the use of hacks or cheats, which means no unlicensed products such as Action Replay, or Game Genie or whatever the kids are using these days. If I'm going to catch 'em all, I'm going to do it fair and, above all, square.

2. My quest to catch 'em all begins now, which means that any Pokémon I own from previous games are NOT fair game. If I want to use my Pokémon Ruby or Pearl games to catch more Pokémon, I need to restart my game and start from scratch. Now, I'm going to absolutely need to use these games in my quest, which means I'm going to be erasing quite a bit of hours, but considering I never caught any ultra-rare shiny Pokémon or event Pokémon, I can live with the loss. I may even trade a few of my favourites to my sister or someone for safekeeping until I can bring them into my game under good conscience.

3. I said catch 'em all, not just catch some, which means that I have to catch all 26 Unown variations. This shouldn't be too hard, since they're all found in my game. Now, this doesn't extend to catching all the different type of Spindas, since from what I understand there's a near infinite variation of them. I'm not sure if there's any other Pokémon who exhibit variations like that, but if there are let me know.



But most importantly...

4. This may be a game, but it's also Serious Business. Sure, I'm doing this for fun, but if I'm ONLY doing this for fun, I'm not going to be able to last when it starts getting tricky. I need to think of this as a job (hopefully a job I love) which means that even if I can't stand the sight of my DS, I need to devote at least one hour to this game a day. This is completely negotiable on days where I have other more important things to do and simply can't fit in the time, but not being in the mood is not an excuse.

I'm sure I'll have to come up with more rules as I progress, but for now those are the ones I'm sticking to.

DAY ONE

As for my progress, Day One was pretty standard. My starting Pokémon was a Totodile, even though I had been planning on going Cyndaquil. I'm not sure exactly what changed my mind, but I'm happy with my choice. I named him Tokek.

I played for about an hour, doing that “walk back and forth while people tell you how great Pokémon are” stuff, stopping after my rival, Adolph, broke into Professor Elm's lab and stole his Chikorita. I was then given some Pokéballs, which means that I'm on my way towards catching them all.



DAY TWO

That night I caught a level 3 female Hoothoot, whom I uncreatively named Hedwig, and a level 3 female Rattatta named Amy (bonus points if you know the reference). Obviously I'm not super excited about these acquisitions. Anyone can catch these Pokémon, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to see a whole lot more of these before I'm through. But still, a catch is a catch.

I finished at like quarter to three in the morning, a cool three Pokémon under my belt, having arrived at Violet City. Look out, world.

Pokémaster of my Domain

The Pokemon franchise and I have a bit of a love-hate relationship; I love Pokémon, and kind of hate myself as a result.

I mean, being Pokémon-obsessed (or Pokésessed, in Pokélingo) was all well and good when I was 12 (and even then I was on the fringe of being too old). But the franchise has been around for a good 12 years, which means I'm twice as old now as I was when I first sought out to “catch 'em all”. What kind of man-child 23-and-a-half-year-old would still get excited over yellow rats who generate electricity and giraffes with an extra head growing out of their ass?

I'll tell you what kind of man-child.

Someone who still lives with his parents, for starters. Someone who went to university, but spent most of that time playing World of Warcraft (and when that got too expensive switched to the much cheaper alternative of Neopets). Someone who knows in his heart that the Star Wars prequels were terrible, but couldn't bring himself to hate them because Jango Fett was so cool. Someone who loved the first Toy Story, but thought the second one was too heavy. Someone who makes minimum wage in retail, and whose only aspiration in life is to either write super-hero comics, or be a roller coaster tester.

In short, someone like me.

Now, to be fair, even though I was a little Pokémon addict (or Pokéaddict) as a kid, I had for quite some time put the franchise behind me. I played Pokémon Pearl back in aught seven, but stopped when university got too demanding, and hadn't looked back since. Or rather, I rarely looked back, and when I did it would be with the wistful gaze I imagine recovering alcoholics give when they walk past an LCBO. But the point was, I had it under control.

Sure, a few times while playing with my nephews, they'd want to show me their collection of Pokémon cards, but I'd always been good about it. I'd wave the cards away and say “no thanks, I've quit.” So all in all, things were going okay.

Until the release of Pokémons Heartgold and Soulsilver last month.

Now, when I was a kid, Pokémon Silver was one of my favourite games of all time. So when I heard that it along with Pokémon Gold were being re-released, I... well, to tell the truth I didn't care that much. I mean, I already played those games ten years ago. Why would I have to...

to...

Wait, this time, your Pokémon follows you around on foot?

And just like Waylon Smithers when he found out that the old Malibu Stacy doll came packaged with a new hat, I began to froth at the mouth. I had to have this game. But at the same time, I was a bit reserved. I already own five incarnations of this basic game (Pokémons Blue, Yellow, Silver, Ruby, and Pearl), one of which is this exact game. What does it say of me that I would shell out another 40 dollars for the same experience I've had for the last 12 years? And I never even finished those games, never even came close to the game's imperative: catching them all. This Soulsilver would give me a few dozen hours of fun, but then find itself in a pile with its five counterparts, as well as all the other things in my life I could never see through to the end. I hemmed and hawed about buying the game for almost a month.

And then my girlfriend Rebecca bought me Pokémon Soulsilver yesterday.

I'm not sure if it was the time I took her to Toys 'R Us to just stare at the game, or how I'd cry out “Pikachu... come back...” in my sleep, but somehow she caught on that I had been eyeing it.

Obviously, when I had received the completely unexpected gift, I was filled with joy, but there was another underlying emotion there as well: fear. Fear that I would fall back into my old ways, and fall hard. Fear that I would become the Pokémon junkie (or Pokéjunkie) that I had hated. Fear that, for all my seeming maturity in the years since last playing the game (a girlfriend, a job, a university degree), I'd turn out to be the same little boy who cried when he got his ass kicked by the Elite Four.

But then I thought to myself, nay. I have changed, and grown as a person. Sure, I may still enjoy bright pixelated games with talking cats and painting dogs, but that doesn't mean I'm not a Man who can handle Responsibilities. And I knew just how to prove it.

This time, I'd catch all 493 Pokémon.

This time, I'd catch 'em all.

Now, this is no easy feat. In fact, it's pretty much impossible at this point. To do so, I'd need eight different versions of Pokémon (FireRed, LeafGreen, Ruby, Sapphire, Pearl, Diamond, HeartGold, and SoulSilver), not to mention one of the Pokémon Ranger games, and even then I'd need to track down rare promotional Pokémon given away at special events. I'd also need to clock in hundreds of hours.

But I'll be damned if I'm not up to the challenge.

So that's basically what I've set up this blog for: to document my struggle – no, my journey – to become the Pokémaster.

NOTE: I originally considered taking time off work in this endeavor, but then abandoned that idea when I realized that missing work to play Pokémon kind of defeats the purpose.