It's been a while, Totodile

Two and a half years ago...
The wind atop Mt. Silver bit deep into my bones, but I hardly noticed the chill. My blood coursed hot and strong that night, as my battle with the mysterious trainer known only as Red drove on into the early hours. I had fought him once before, yet had known only bitter defeat.

He had beaten me. But he had not broken me.

Since my last defeat, I had trained harder than before. I had fought Gym Leaders from across the regions Johto and Kanto, adapting and honing with each new victory. I had studied my silent foe, learning his strengths, as well as his weaknesses.

My Pokémon were strong. And they were brave. And they were hungry.

The battle with Red was not an easy one. The white snow of Mt. Silver took on a crimson hue as our Pokémon exchanged blow after blow. The earth trembled when Red's Snorlax was felled by a well-placed low kick, delivered by my faithful Electivire, Electro. Where Snorlax fell, a new canyon was born.

It is said that on that day, people looked to the skies above Mt. Silver, saw the fury of lightning dancing overhead, and knew that the gods were angry. They would have despaired had they known the truth: at that moment, Red's Pikachu had entered the battle. He looked to Moloch, my Nidoking and general-in-arms, and ended him with one whispered word.

That word was "no."

Moloch fell. Ulysses fell. Ryuk stumbled. Before Pikachu could end him as he did the others, the Dusknoir laid a curse upon the yellow beast. Ryuk was lost, but he took the foul demon with him.

In the end, Red was left with one Pokémon: the dreaded Charizard. Though the creature fought valiantly, no matter how valiantly one fights, one cannot escape its nature. Charizard is Fire type. My Feraligatr was Water type. It could only end one way.

When the smoke cleared, Red was kneeling in the red snow, looking down at his slain companions. I approached, limping slightly, though invigorated by my victory. I stood above him. Slowly, he turned his face towards me...

...yet all I could see were my own features staring back at me.

I stumbled. Was this to be my future? A life of perfection and mastery, but also one of solitude? Would battle and training be all I know? My victory evaporated before my eyes. On shaking legs, I turned, and I ran.

Present Day

Hi. Okay.

I know, I know. It's been, what? Two and a half years since my last post? You don't need to say anything. You're disappointed in me. I can understand that.

Things were going so well, too. Last time you heard from me, I caught a Zapdos, legendary thunder bird. And then, nothing. Not even a short update saying I'm still alive. That's not fair to you. I'm sorry.

My last post may have been in July of 2010, but I didn't stop then. Honest. Throughout the summer, I worked hard, evolving my team and catching new Pokémon, primarily through the Pokéwalker. I even caught a Latias named Knuckles thanks to the Enigma Stone Wi-Fi event. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to blog about these milestones, mainly because it was family vacation season and I was constantly out of the city.

The summer culminated in one of my biggest achievements: the defeat of trainer Red. As mentioned above, it was a hard battle, but I emerged victorious.

But something happened after that. I lost a lot of momentum. Having gone a month or so without publicly documenting my progress, coupled with the lack of drive that followed Red's defeat, many of my achievements felt more trivial from then on. I continued my progress, but at a much slower pace, catching only a few Pokémon a month. Finally, on March of 2011, most likely because of the arrival of the 3DS, I put down Soul Silver and didn't pick it back up again.

A lot's happened in the few years since. In summer of 2011, I quit my retail job so that I could tackle writing full time. It's been slow going, but I've had a few comic scripts published, and even wrote a short film that's being shown later this month (for more on my writing, check out my other blog). Still, all this time I've looked at "Gots Ta Catch 'Em All" with some shame at giving up. But it was more of a casual shame, one that I didn't really have the motivation to do anything about.

Until now.

Three days ago, Nintendo announced that Pokémon X and Y, the sixth generation of the series, would be released worldwide for the 3DS later this year. As I watched the Nintendo Direct feed, something within me started to awaken. A flame that had gone out two years previously began to reignite.

I fired up my old SoulSilver game, where all my old friends waited. Tokek the Feraligatr. Moloch the Nidoking. Electro. Ulysses. Ryuk.

"Hey guys," I mumbled sheepishly. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

They were silent.

"Look, I know I let you guys down. But do you think... maybe... we could try again?"

"Nidoking!" replied Moloch happily. And off we went.

So yeah, I'm going to make another try at all this. I know the going's going to get tough. But hopefully by the time Pokémon X and Y are released in October, I'll be well on my way to catching all 493...

... wait. There are 649 now!?

God DAMNIT.

Suicune is Painless

First there was Lugia. Then there was Mewtwo.

Well now you can add both Ho-oh and Suicune to the mix. Because I caught them. With my balls.

And to be quite honest, I'm not finding them to be all that challenging, at least not compared to that Lugia. Where Ulysses was concerned, I'd be constantly resetting my game because after lobbing ball after ball at the guy, he'd eventually run out of moves, use Struggle, and knock himself out. I'd have to give up after trying for a few hours each day because I'd be sick to my stomach with frustration.

Ho-oh and Suicune? Fucking easy. I probably wasted a combined 8 Pokéballs trying to catch them, which is nothing. Just goes to show that I truly am becoming a Pokémaster.

Yes, I realize I'm bragging about being “good” at a game geared towards children. Let me have this moment.


4 Legendaries caught. Who's next?

In terms of progress, I went back to Cerulean Cave the day after catching Dr. Mabuse and found an Electrizer, which I gave to Electro. I traded both him and a Reaper Cloth'd Ryuk to my sister Rachel, which means they both evolved into badass Pokémon, and Electivire and a Dusknoir, respectively. I later found a Magmarizer on Cinnibar Island, which I used to evolve Hallyne into a Magmortar.

I also caught a sweet Beldum on my Pokéwalker. I named him Hogarth. He'll unfortunately be the last Pokémon I catch on the 'Walker for a while, at least until I cover those half a million steps and start unlocking new routes again. So far I'm at 140,000.

While in Mt. Silver I caught a male Teddiursa and named him Bear Jew, and a male Sneasel named Scrat. I then got my ass handed to me by Trainer Red and decided to return to the Safari Zone, where I caught a female Misdreavus named Morticia. I also later caught a male Snubbull, whom I named Throw Mama.

Finally, I caught a level 70 Ho-oh and named it Gwaihir, and just a few hours ago caught a Suicune named Grey Wind.

Oh, and somewhere in the process, Hybird the Doduo evolved into a Dodrio, and I evolved Hogarth into a Metang.

I Got a Lot of Long PokéWalking to Do

Okay, let's start with some good news: I am now up to 126 Pokémon, which means I've now completed just over 25% of my Pokédex. I've also made mincemeat of all 16 gym trainers, of both the Johto and the Kanto varieties. I think it's fair at this point to infer that I'm a whirling dervish of Pokéjustice, sweeping up any trainer who dares come between me and my path of destruction.

Now let's move on to the bad news: due to some glitch somewhere, I had to reset my Pokéwalker. Now, I didn't lose any Pokémon in the process, but what it means is that all my progress towards unlocking all the possible routes in the device has been erased. Basically, I lost 25,000 “Watts” on the fucking thing. Considering that you unlock one Watt for every 20 steps you take, I need to walk half a million goddamn bastard steps just to cover the progress I lost. I'm really tempted to just tape the Pokéwalker to the blade of a fan and let spin for a few days, but I'm not going to go that route. I'm going to unlock those routes the honest way, step by motherfucking step.



Back to good news: I've managed to outsource some of my Pokécatching. This weekend, I made a deal with my girlfriend: she'd learn how to play Pokémon and help me catch 'em all, and in return I'd behave myself at her uncle's funeral.

One funeral – and exactly 0 sacred urns toppled – later, I slid her my copy of Pokémon Pearl, which I was going to reset anyways, and told her she could start a new game. And start a new game she did. Considering she's never played one of these games in her life, I think she's doing a good job so far (although Chimchar? Really?)

So now, while I'll be catching the Pokémon of the Johto and Kanto regions (and when I start playing Ruby again, the Hoenn region), Rebecca will be a force to be reckoned with in the Sinnoh region. Hell, she's only played for about an hour and she's already caught a Bidoof, Starly, and Shinx. Soon, they will be mine.

In terms of my game, the progress has been equally palpable. My Magby, whom I named Hallyne, evolved into a Magmar. I also evolved Nero the Spearow, Muad'Dib the Sandshrew, Resetti the Diglett, and Norm Bates the Cubone into a Fearow, Sandslash, Dugtrio, and Marowak, respectively. I also caught myself a Snorlax on my first ball (a Heavy Ball, if you must know), and named him Chien-Po. I also caught a level 2 Poochyena (Nymeria).

Finally, Ryuk the Duskull evolved into the much-less-adorable Dusclops. He kinda looks retarded now but whatever I have a Reaper Cloth so I'm going to evolve him again ASAP.



But first, I'm going to go run a few goddamn laps around the house with my Pokéwalker

I love my Duskull

A few more entries to the 'Dex. Caught a male Slugma (Magmus) and a Ditto (Mystique). I evolved my Smoochum (whom I named Blondie) into a Jynx, and my Sentret (whom I named Crockett) evolved into a Furret. I also caught a Volbeat, Natu, Carvanha, Wailmer, and Kecleon on Pokéwalker. This means I've only added about 9 Pokémon to my Pokédex in the past 4 days.

That's because I've been training the newest addition to my lineup, my Duskull.

Like Electro when he was just an Elekid, my Duskull is simply a joy to behold. He looks adorable following me around like some evil spectre of death. Of course, raising him has been something of a chore. Since he's still in his basic evolutionary stage, he's pretty weak and susceptible to KO's quite often. Still, I know that all the bumps and scratches will be worth it, and he'll realize his true potential, just like Electro and Moloch have before him.

Anyways, here's a picture I drew of my Duskull, Ryuk, devouring the souls of his enemies.



Welcome to the lineup, little man! Hope you survive the experience!