Elite Beat Agent

One reason why I started this project was to see whether my Pokémastery has improved any since I started playing this franchise over a decade ago. So far, I'm doing alright, but haven't been noticing any visible improvements in my game now that I'm an adult. In fact, in many cases, I'm having a harder time of it. It was pretty disheartening, when I thought about it.

But never mind that. I just got my vindication at about 2 a.m. this morning, when I beat the Elite Four. On my first try.



I know, I know. So what? Well, I'll tell you what.

So for every game since the original Pokémons Blue and Red, the adventure would culminate with your character challenging the Elite Four, a collection of the toughest Pokétrainers in the region. If you manage to do that, you become the new Champion, and essentially beat the game. Sounds easy, sure, except:

1. You have to beat each one consecutively, Gauntlet-style.
2. They all use pretty high-level Pokémon, usually higher than most of yours when you first arrive to challenge them.
3. For some reason, there are five members of the Elite Four.

What this basically means, or at least meant for me as a child, is that you generally have to fight them and fail a few times, levelling up your Pokémon in the meantime, before you're able to successfully defeat them. But not this time.

This time, even though I went in with generally shitty Pokémon (no offence guys, but only two of you were above level 40, the rest levelled 25-33), I managed to knock the boots with Will, Koga, Bruno, Karen, and Lance, and emerge victorious. On my first try.

(Okay I just looked up the term “Knock the Boots” to make sure I was using it correctly, and apparently it means “have sexual intercourse [with]”. So for the record, I did not use that term correctly. Or did I?)



So thank you to Morpheus, Moloch, Electro, Ulysses, Tokek, and ChickenBoo. You guys did great. Welcome to the Hall of Fame.

So now that I've beaten the Elite Four, does that mean I'm done the game? Well no, not even close. HeartGold and SoulSilver, like its predecessors, are unique in that after you beat the Elite Four Plus One, a path opens to a whole new region, Kanto (which is actually the setting of the original games). This means I'm practically halfway through the storyline. It's also good, though, since a whole slew of Pokémon become available to me. On my Pokéwalker alone, new paths are being opened up once I get my National Pokédex.

Speaking of Pokédex, let's talk about my progress.

Since my last Pokédex report, I've mentioned catching my Lugia, Ulysses, but there have been quite a few other additions as well. I'm also the owner of a level 23 male Tangela (Mr. Tickle), and level 22 male Delibird (Dedede), and a level 21 female Swinub (Alice).

I also returned to the Safari zone, where I caught a level 15 male Sandshrew named Muad'Dib (I am currently reading Dune for the first time ever). On my Pokéwalker, I've caught a Krabby, Psyduck, and a Spearow. The Spearow was the last Pokémon I could catch on my Pokéwalker with the amount of routes available to me, but now that I'm about to get a National Pokédex, more routes (and more Pokémon!) should be forthcoming.

In terms of evolution, Maraxus evolved into a Machoke while traveling through victory road, and Morpheus evolved into a Hypno while fighting the Elite Four. Electro, bless that little tyke, evolved into an Electabuzz. I would love to evolve him further into an Electivire, but need and Electirizer to do so, which from what I understand will take a while to find. Oh well.



Right now I've added Terra to my lineup. When she evolves into a Graveler I'll have the four original Trade Evolutions, and will evolve them all accordingly.

Day 23 Pokédex count: Seen 184, caught 86
Professor Oak says: Do you have a Fishing Rod? There are some Pokémon that can only be found by fishing!

Yes I have a fucking Fishing Rod, Professor!

Day 17 - Prepare for Trouble

Okay, I've been playing for about 22 hours now and I gotta say: Team Rocket is probably the lamest video game villain I've ever encountered.



I mean, villains are necessary in a game in order to keep the stakes high. The more villainous the character, the higher the stakes, right? That's probably why so many villains in video games want to either enslave the world or unleash some demon who's going to devour the world (think any Final Fantasy or Zelda game, for example).

So basically Team Rocket is this group of reprobates bent on taking over the world. Okay, you have me so far.

Now how does Team Rocket go about this goal? Well, so far, their plans have involved...

1) Selling Slowpoke Tails for really expensive on the black market (no, they don't kill the Slowpokes, and to be honest, the Slowpokes don't seem to mind).

2) Turn a Gyrados red by evolving it too soon, or something.

3) Take over a radio station so that you can broadcast “Team Rocket Rules!” over the airwaves.

Annnnd that's it. As you can imagine, the stakes are never really all that high, and I never really care. Now, that being said, I'm only partway through the game, and may have yet to come to the part where they drive a bus full of explosives into the United Nations or unleash a thread of anthrax into the drinking water, but at the moment you can colour me unimpressed.



Now, I know what you're thinking: “But Aaron, who cares if Team Rocket is a lame villain? That's not the point of this game! This is Pokémon, in which the story is really just a means to an end, and that's the exciting gameplay!”

To that I say.... well, yeah. I guess you're right about that. But still, there are plenty of games out there with great gameplay and a great story. For once I'd like to see a Pokémon game with both.

At the very least, though, Team Rocket has provided me with plenty of battles, given me lots of opportunities to level up my Pokémon. As such, I've had quite a few of my guys evolve in the past few days. ChickenBoo grew into a Pidgeotto, and Amy into a Raticate. I promptly ditched Amy and started training Buggin Out in her place. He quickly grew to a Kakuna, and then a Beedrill, at which point I swapped him out for Psycho Fox. Psycho Fox grew into a Kadabra. The slot is now being occupied by my Machop, whom I've named Maraxus.

Oh, and Swayze evolved into a sweet Haunter. Here's a pic (courtesy of my brother David):



On top of those I've also caught a metric shitload of wild Pokémon in the last few days. They consist of:

-A level 22 male Vulpix named Ash
-A level 20 female Diglett named Resetti
-A level 24 male Farfetch'd named Ferdinand
-A level 15 female Jigglypuff named Duffy
-A level 17 Magnemite named IG-88
-A level 17 male Rhyhorn named Rocksteady
-A level 17 female Sunkern named Flora
-A level 5 male Eevee named Lockjaw

Not to mention a Venonat, Oddish, Wobuffet, Bellsprout, and Dratini on my Pokéwalker. On top of that, Oberyn evolved into an Arbok, courtesy of the hard work he's been doing on my Pokéwalker. He now looks appropriately awesome.

That brings me to 75 Pokémon, which means I've added 20 Pokémon to the 'Dex in the past three days. I think it's clear at this point that I'm not in the prisoner-taking business, I'm in the Pokémon-taking business.

And brother, business is booming.

Day 17 Pokédex count: Seen 145, caught 75
Professor Oak says: You're training them well. You know that some Pokémon don't evolve just by battling with others, right?

Say wha, Professor?