Suicune is Painless

First there was Lugia. Then there was Mewtwo.

Well now you can add both Ho-oh and Suicune to the mix. Because I caught them. With my balls.

And to be quite honest, I'm not finding them to be all that challenging, at least not compared to that Lugia. Where Ulysses was concerned, I'd be constantly resetting my game because after lobbing ball after ball at the guy, he'd eventually run out of moves, use Struggle, and knock himself out. I'd have to give up after trying for a few hours each day because I'd be sick to my stomach with frustration.

Ho-oh and Suicune? Fucking easy. I probably wasted a combined 8 Pokéballs trying to catch them, which is nothing. Just goes to show that I truly am becoming a Pokémaster.

Yes, I realize I'm bragging about being “good” at a game geared towards children. Let me have this moment.


4 Legendaries caught. Who's next?

In terms of progress, I went back to Cerulean Cave the day after catching Dr. Mabuse and found an Electrizer, which I gave to Electro. I traded both him and a Reaper Cloth'd Ryuk to my sister Rachel, which means they both evolved into badass Pokémon, and Electivire and a Dusknoir, respectively. I later found a Magmarizer on Cinnibar Island, which I used to evolve Hallyne into a Magmortar.

I also caught a sweet Beldum on my Pokéwalker. I named him Hogarth. He'll unfortunately be the last Pokémon I catch on the 'Walker for a while, at least until I cover those half a million steps and start unlocking new routes again. So far I'm at 140,000.

While in Mt. Silver I caught a male Teddiursa and named him Bear Jew, and a male Sneasel named Scrat. I then got my ass handed to me by Trainer Red and decided to return to the Safari Zone, where I caught a female Misdreavus named Morticia. I also later caught a male Snubbull, whom I named Throw Mama.

Finally, I caught a level 70 Ho-oh and named it Gwaihir, and just a few hours ago caught a Suicune named Grey Wind.

Oh, and somewhere in the process, Hybird the Doduo evolved into a Dodrio, and I evolved Hogarth into a Metang.

We All Have to Start Somewhere

So, a few days ago the world got its first glimpse at the new starting Pokémon in the upcoming 6th Generation titles, Pokémon Black and White.

Now, starting Pokémon are not something I take lightly. In any game, your starting Pokémon is your first friend – your guide into the strange journey on which you are about to embark. Removing your starter from your permanent lineup is always a rite of passage (something I haven't been able to do yet, by the way). Since starters are so important, it's equally important that you have a well of interesting options to choose from.

Which is a shame, because as more games have come out, the quality of the starters has been, well...

I'll let this comic I found sum it up (click to enlarge):



With Generation 1, we had three pretty rad Pokémon to choose from. Choosing your starting Pokémon wasn't easy, because no matter which one you chose, there would be two other awesome Pokémon you'd never be able to own. While I think I've come to the conclusion that Charmander is my personal favourite, even that's by a small margin (again, going for Charmander meant missing out on a turtle with cannons strapped to his shell, and a dinosaur with a tree growing out of its back). Of the few times I've played Generation 1, my starter choice breakdown probably goes something like 50% Charmander, 35% Squirtle, and 15% Bulbasaur.



With Generation 2, the second starter lineup offered an equally impressive lineup.



For this one my breakdown might be something like 60% Cyndaquil and 40% Totodile. While I personally would never go for a Chikorita, I don't begrudge its existence. It's a little girly, sure, but I can at least appreciate that there are people who like it.

Now, with Generation 3, we start to see a bit of a decline. Suddenly, my choice of starting Pokémon is much easier: Mudkip. Even though he gets kind of stupid when he becomes a Swampert (or as my sister Rachel says, a dirty Hobo Pokémon), he's still by far the best option available. I mean, what's with that look on Sceptile's face?



And ugh, don't even get me started on Blaziken.



He doesn't even look like he's in the right game. Seriously, I'm not too sure what the designers were thinking when they came up with the look for this guy. I mean, what would have possibly inspired them to... to...

Wait...



Oh, I get it. Digimon strikes again.

Generation 4 starters are something of a Morton's Fork, in which no matter which you pick, you're kinda in the same crappy situation. Do you choose the goofy Chimchar, resulting in a pretty goofy Infernape? A slightly cooler Piplup, resulting in a crappy Empoleon? Or the bland Turtwig, resulting in the equally bland Torterra?



Whoever wins, you lose.

But let's look at Generation 5. At least, the basic evolutions.

First up, in the Grass-Type corner, we have Tsutaja.



Now, I don't hate his design, but I do have two problems, the first being that he kinda looks exactly like a green Cyndaquil. The second problem is that he has Sceptile's creepy Come Hither eyes.

Um, PASS.

Second, we have Pokablu, a Fire-Type pig.



This is a bit more like it. A simple, archetypal design with a bit of uniqueness thrown in. I'm definitely a fan.

Finally, we have the Water-Type Mijumaru.



Now this guy is a bit problematic. He seems to hover between adorable and grotesque. I really don't know what to make of him, but I have a feeling he'll either have the coolest evolution, or the lamest. I mean, look at him. It's quite possible that, even though he's apparently a Sea Otter Pokémon, he could become quite bad-ass, something akin to Iorek Byrnison. On the other hand, he could end up being a Care Bear in Whiteface.

So, at this stage I think the starters aren't bad, certainly not as bad as others seem to be saying on the internet (I've seen them referred to as “Retardachu, Queermander, & Shittle”). As for which I'll choose when I get Black or White (though probably Black, cause that's how I roll), I'm undecided. I'm going to try to avoid having the final evolutions ruined for me before playing the game, even though I know that's probably impossible. Assuming I don't know more then than I do now, I'm probably going to go Fire, although I have a feeling I might throw caution to the wind and pick Water, even if that does mean I wind up with a Retardachu.

I think I've rambled on long enough, so I'll update on my progress later. In the meantime, what do you guys think of the new starters?

Mewtwo

Another quick quick update to let you know that, whereas before I had but one legendary Pokémon, now I own Two.

Mewtwo, to be precise.

To be honest, I wasn't expecting to come across him for a while. I only headed into Cerulean Cave because I heard that you could find an Electrizer there and I need one to evolve Electro, allowing him to reach his full potential for badassery. So I headed into the cave and promptly got lost. I wandered around for a while and holy shit there's a Mewtwo right there.



Now, even when I found him, I wasn't expecting to be able to actually catch him. After all, he's at level 70 and my highest Pokémon is only 57. Still, it turned out to be pretty simple, since he only had one offensive move, which hardly did any damage to my guys. I pelted him with Dusk Balls, and when that failed, pelted him with Ultra Balls until the tenth or so stuck.

Tricky? I suppose. But compared to catching Ulysses, this was a fucking cakewalk.

I named him Dr. Mabuse, and I think it's interesting to know that I caught him pretty much at the exact same moment I hit the 50-hour mark for total elapsed play time.

Unfortunately, though, I couldn't find the Electrizer. I'll have to return to the cave tomorrow.

I Got a Lot of Long PokéWalking to Do

Okay, let's start with some good news: I am now up to 126 Pokémon, which means I've now completed just over 25% of my Pokédex. I've also made mincemeat of all 16 gym trainers, of both the Johto and the Kanto varieties. I think it's fair at this point to infer that I'm a whirling dervish of Pokéjustice, sweeping up any trainer who dares come between me and my path of destruction.

Now let's move on to the bad news: due to some glitch somewhere, I had to reset my Pokéwalker. Now, I didn't lose any Pokémon in the process, but what it means is that all my progress towards unlocking all the possible routes in the device has been erased. Basically, I lost 25,000 “Watts” on the fucking thing. Considering that you unlock one Watt for every 20 steps you take, I need to walk half a million goddamn bastard steps just to cover the progress I lost. I'm really tempted to just tape the Pokéwalker to the blade of a fan and let spin for a few days, but I'm not going to go that route. I'm going to unlock those routes the honest way, step by motherfucking step.



Back to good news: I've managed to outsource some of my Pokécatching. This weekend, I made a deal with my girlfriend: she'd learn how to play Pokémon and help me catch 'em all, and in return I'd behave myself at her uncle's funeral.

One funeral – and exactly 0 sacred urns toppled – later, I slid her my copy of Pokémon Pearl, which I was going to reset anyways, and told her she could start a new game. And start a new game she did. Considering she's never played one of these games in her life, I think she's doing a good job so far (although Chimchar? Really?)

So now, while I'll be catching the Pokémon of the Johto and Kanto regions (and when I start playing Ruby again, the Hoenn region), Rebecca will be a force to be reckoned with in the Sinnoh region. Hell, she's only played for about an hour and she's already caught a Bidoof, Starly, and Shinx. Soon, they will be mine.

In terms of my game, the progress has been equally palpable. My Magby, whom I named Hallyne, evolved into a Magmar. I also evolved Nero the Spearow, Muad'Dib the Sandshrew, Resetti the Diglett, and Norm Bates the Cubone into a Fearow, Sandslash, Dugtrio, and Marowak, respectively. I also caught myself a Snorlax on my first ball (a Heavy Ball, if you must know), and named him Chien-Po. I also caught a level 2 Poochyena (Nymeria).

Finally, Ryuk the Duskull evolved into the much-less-adorable Dusclops. He kinda looks retarded now but whatever I have a Reaper Cloth so I'm going to evolve him again ASAP.



But first, I'm going to go run a few goddamn laps around the house with my Pokéwalker

I love my Duskull

A few more entries to the 'Dex. Caught a male Slugma (Magmus) and a Ditto (Mystique). I evolved my Smoochum (whom I named Blondie) into a Jynx, and my Sentret (whom I named Crockett) evolved into a Furret. I also caught a Volbeat, Natu, Carvanha, Wailmer, and Kecleon on Pokéwalker. This means I've only added about 9 Pokémon to my Pokédex in the past 4 days.

That's because I've been training the newest addition to my lineup, my Duskull.

Like Electro when he was just an Elekid, my Duskull is simply a joy to behold. He looks adorable following me around like some evil spectre of death. Of course, raising him has been something of a chore. Since he's still in his basic evolutionary stage, he's pretty weak and susceptible to KO's quite often. Still, I know that all the bumps and scratches will be worth it, and he'll realize his true potential, just like Electro and Moloch have before him.

Anyways, here's a picture I drew of my Duskull, Ryuk, devouring the souls of his enemies.



Welcome to the lineup, little man! Hope you survive the experience!

Bel Kanto

So, last week saw a few milestones on my SoulSilver cartridge. Not only did I catch my first legendary Pokémon, I also opened up a can of “it's super effective” on the Elite Four. Well just when you thought it was over, Aaron hits you up with another milestone.

I just hit the 100 Pokémon mark.

Now, this isn't a particularly hard thing to do when there are 493 of the little fuckers around, but I think it's still a reassuring marker to hit. The fact is, I've now caught over 20% of 'em all, and I don't feel like slowing down in the least.

Progress-wise, I've found that the adventure sort of loses its thrust after beating the Elite Four. I always thought it was a cool idea to have it revealed that after you think the game's over, a whole new continent is added. That being said, there's not much to do now that I'm here. I now have two more badges under my belt (Lt. Surge's and Sabrina's), but it's not quite the same. Whereas in the Johto region, I'd have to right wrongs, help the helpless, and defeat marginally evil villains, in Kanto (the second continent) it feels like I'm just here to sightsee. I've really just been going from one town to the next, getting gym badges just cause I can.



But goddamnit, I didn't come here to sightsee. I came here to catch some Pokémon.

Interestingly, even though I've added about 23 entries to my Pokédex since I last blogged, only 1 of them was from a Pokémon caught through traditional means. That Pokémon is Cubone. I named him Norm Bates, because his Pokédex entry reads like this:

It always wears the skull of its dead mother, so no one has any idea what its hidden face looks like.

I think that that entry makes Cubone officially the most fucked-up Pokémon I own thus far.



All the other Pokémon I've added have been either evolutions or caught via the Pokéwalker. As I mentioned before, beating the Elite Four unlocked new routes on the 'walker, which means I'm now the proud owner of a Wurmple, Illumise, Skitty, Horsea, Azurill, Houndour, Meditite, Castform, and Zigzagoon (phew!).

Oh, also, Nintendo has unleashed a new route for trainers to download: the Winner's Path (in lieu of the Pikachu-laden Yellow Forest). If you have Wi-Fi, download it now! If not, walk up and down your street like a creepy stalker until you find a signal! I did the latter, and have so far found a Bronzor, Duskull (which is probably my favourite Pokémon to come out of Ruby/Sapphire), and Munchlax.



And on top of those Pokémon, I've had a few others evolve: Terra evolved into Graveler, Poppet into a Skiploom and then a Jumpluff, Gobias into a Flaafy and then an Ampharos, and finally ChickenBoo evolved into a Pidgeot. I proceeded to trade Terra, Maraxus, Psycho Fox, and Swayze to my sister Rachel, where they evolved into a Golem, Machamp, Alakazam, and Gengar, respectively.

So yeah, another productive few days. Well, I mean, if you don't count Pokémon, they were horribly unproductive days. But I mean, in the world of Pokémon? Productive!

Day 27 Pokédex count: Seen 211, caught 109
Professor Oak says: Don't forget, some Pokémon only appear at certain times of the day!

I won't, Professor!

Elite Beat Agent

One reason why I started this project was to see whether my Pokémastery has improved any since I started playing this franchise over a decade ago. So far, I'm doing alright, but haven't been noticing any visible improvements in my game now that I'm an adult. In fact, in many cases, I'm having a harder time of it. It was pretty disheartening, when I thought about it.

But never mind that. I just got my vindication at about 2 a.m. this morning, when I beat the Elite Four. On my first try.



I know, I know. So what? Well, I'll tell you what.

So for every game since the original Pokémons Blue and Red, the adventure would culminate with your character challenging the Elite Four, a collection of the toughest Pokétrainers in the region. If you manage to do that, you become the new Champion, and essentially beat the game. Sounds easy, sure, except:

1. You have to beat each one consecutively, Gauntlet-style.
2. They all use pretty high-level Pokémon, usually higher than most of yours when you first arrive to challenge them.
3. For some reason, there are five members of the Elite Four.

What this basically means, or at least meant for me as a child, is that you generally have to fight them and fail a few times, levelling up your Pokémon in the meantime, before you're able to successfully defeat them. But not this time.

This time, even though I went in with generally shitty Pokémon (no offence guys, but only two of you were above level 40, the rest levelled 25-33), I managed to knock the boots with Will, Koga, Bruno, Karen, and Lance, and emerge victorious. On my first try.

(Okay I just looked up the term “Knock the Boots” to make sure I was using it correctly, and apparently it means “have sexual intercourse [with]”. So for the record, I did not use that term correctly. Or did I?)



So thank you to Morpheus, Moloch, Electro, Ulysses, Tokek, and ChickenBoo. You guys did great. Welcome to the Hall of Fame.

So now that I've beaten the Elite Four, does that mean I'm done the game? Well no, not even close. HeartGold and SoulSilver, like its predecessors, are unique in that after you beat the Elite Four Plus One, a path opens to a whole new region, Kanto (which is actually the setting of the original games). This means I'm practically halfway through the storyline. It's also good, though, since a whole slew of Pokémon become available to me. On my Pokéwalker alone, new paths are being opened up once I get my National Pokédex.

Speaking of Pokédex, let's talk about my progress.

Since my last Pokédex report, I've mentioned catching my Lugia, Ulysses, but there have been quite a few other additions as well. I'm also the owner of a level 23 male Tangela (Mr. Tickle), and level 22 male Delibird (Dedede), and a level 21 female Swinub (Alice).

I also returned to the Safari zone, where I caught a level 15 male Sandshrew named Muad'Dib (I am currently reading Dune for the first time ever). On my Pokéwalker, I've caught a Krabby, Psyduck, and a Spearow. The Spearow was the last Pokémon I could catch on my Pokéwalker with the amount of routes available to me, but now that I'm about to get a National Pokédex, more routes (and more Pokémon!) should be forthcoming.

In terms of evolution, Maraxus evolved into a Machoke while traveling through victory road, and Morpheus evolved into a Hypno while fighting the Elite Four. Electro, bless that little tyke, evolved into an Electabuzz. I would love to evolve him further into an Electivire, but need and Electirizer to do so, which from what I understand will take a while to find. Oh well.



Right now I've added Terra to my lineup. When she evolves into a Graveler I'll have the four original Trade Evolutions, and will evolve them all accordingly.

Day 23 Pokédex count: Seen 184, caught 86
Professor Oak says: Do you have a Fishing Rod? There are some Pokémon that can only be found by fishing!

Yes I have a fucking Fishing Rod, Professor!